I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize