toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize