i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
