Don't you send me to vm
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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