i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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