it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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