You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
