Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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