I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
