don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
