Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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