Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is Oprah even human
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
