Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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