I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
