Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
