what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
