Where is the hickey?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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