i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize