I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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