haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Having a random hookup so left but love u
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
