Already got asked if we're dating
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
