Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
