Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
