i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
