I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
