Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
