so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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