??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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