Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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