You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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