the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We are two peas in an std pod
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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