Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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