This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
