she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need moral support for this bender
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment