so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.