idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
