whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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