You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
