just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
