Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
