you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
