Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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