I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize