And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
