It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like death gave me a hand job
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
