dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
