Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
