My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize