Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
