He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
