he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
