Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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