Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
