I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
