i'm lost and i look like a hooker
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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