He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
