did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize