could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
