Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
