I'm going to jail i love you
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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