Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
