i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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