This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
