exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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