He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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